Who is Couples Counselling Really For?

We all have the image of what we think couples counselling is and who it’s for. It’s obviously for

the couple who’s marriage is going down the tubes, who fight all the time, or worse don’t

even speak to each other. This is a more classic view of couples counselling. Each couple is so unique and has so many layers together and as individuals that couples counselling is and can be so much more!

As a therapist and a couples counsellor I want to say that it’s for everyone. I personally believe

everyone can benefit from therapy and encourage everyone I know to go and I even go myself. This is a biased view. But in saying that, it is well known individual therapy and couples counselling is optimal when it’s done proactively. Couples work is most effective when both partners are willing to participate, but it doesn’t mean your marriage or relationship is falling apart. It’s also for when we know there are major changes in relationships or external stressors. We can then anticipate the stress that your relationship may undergo and ensure you have the skills to navigate and cope, therefore becoming an even stronger couple.

So, who should go?

Soon-To-Be Parents/ New Parents

Becoming a parent is one of the largest changes a person will ever experience in their lifetime. You

now have a little person that is totally dependant on you and your partner. To make it harder you will also be utterly exhausted. Preparing for and experiencing this shift can be stressful and it is

important that both you and your partner are communicating clearly and effectively, but also that

you are on the same page while understanding each others needs and wants. It’s a lot. With a couples therapist you can work together to explore parenting styles, effective communication,

boundaries with extended family and how you both remain team without losing yourselves.

Turn Around Workers

‘Oh he’s out this week’. ‘I’ll make it but I’ll be coming alone’. ‘No, I missed it, but I heard it was a good time’. This is the lingo and lifestyle of a turn around worker and their partner.

Although it is often a consistent schedule it can be taxing. There is so much to catch up on when they come back and so much that can be missed. Therapy can help with the constant change and the feeling that sometimes life is happening around you and you’re not necessarily part of it. With these couples we focus on communication, quality time and building systems and structure within the relationship and family so when someone leaves or comes home everyone knows what to expect and can pick up where you left off.

Couples Who Have Been Married for A Long Time

You have been together for years, you have found your rhythm and you can’t imagine life without your partner, but it’s predictable. Dare I even say boring?

Sometimes couples need to remember what it’s like to connect and have fun again, like it was at the beginning. You may not be the same people you were when you first met so exploring what fun looks like now is important. Keeping a relationships exciting can help ward off boredom or feeling like things are stagnant and bring you closer together. With these couples we work to build enjoyment into your daily routine, learn to date (each other) again, surprise one another, learn each others love languages and how to speak them and explore doing things differently to shake it up.

Pre-Marital/ Post-Marital

Marriage is a major life change it brings a lot of excitement, anticipation and stress. When preparing for a wedding it can be helpful to seek professional help to deal with premarital stress, set boundaries and ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. It is also a great time check in to see if there are any major topics you and your partner need to discuss and figure out before tying the knot.

One of the most important things I tell pre-martial couples is that you are not only marrying the person in front of you, but every version they are going to become.

Once married that can bring a lot of changes too, especially if you recently moved in together. As a married couple you are now living in the world as a team which can provide challenges. The wedding blues are also a real feeling, in that after you are married it may not feel like you have anything big or special coming up and it can create feelings of sadness. You may also feel like the honeymoon period has worn off and now life has become mundane. These are all things we discuss in therapy. Together we look at navigating the world with a partner, communication, supporting one another, understanding your partners wants and needs as well as figure out what’s next in your marriage and what you both want as individuals and as a couple.

For a Check Up

Couples counselling does not have to be for something huge, life changing or hard. Sometimes it’s truly just a check up. It has been reported that 69% of conflict within a relationship is perpetual. Meaning some things just keep popping, and that’s okay. You can come to couples therapy to

get new skills, spice up date night, have a difficult conversation, explore setting or reevaluating boundaries or to get a fresh perspective on a perpetual conflict. Whatever your need therapists are here to help you and your partner become the most functional, healthy, content couple that you can be!

Booking Your Couples Session

It’s easy and just like booking an individual therapy session. However at Align Chiropractic and Wellness couples counselling sessions are only offered in-person. This was done very consciously. Part of couples counselling is strengthening connection and deepening the relationship, that is a difficult thing to do over a virtual platform. The initial consultation can be done virtually (it’s 15 minutes long) so that is is more accessible. In consultation we talk about what you would like to work on, you can ask as many questions as you would like, we get to know one another and discuss potential ways to help you reach your goals! After your consultation and we feel that we are a good fit for one another you and your partner and book the first session!